The MetanoiaFiles: In the Darkest Moment of my Life

The MetanoiaFiles

In the Darkest Moment of my Life. . . . .

19^th Sunday in Ordinary Time, Parish Priest’s Sunday, August 7, 2011

Right now, I’m writing this article in the darkest moment of my life. I have lost everything. . . . .

At this very moment it has been only the burnt out me, my slashed backpack, my weary luggage, and my enduring Metanoia Antoine G60 that has been spared from hold-up I have experienced a while ago. . . . .

I am in the verge of my total destruction. . . . .

Being expelled of my own house, I have no more home to call to. . . . .

I have no more money to spend since everything has been spent for me to survive the day. . . . .

I have no more biological family to go back to. It is either going home and face prison or to go away from home surviving, uncertain. . . . .

I’m deserted by people. Having my only line of communication robbed from me I have no more contact to people I can ask help. . . . .

My body doesn’t have a decent sleep for more than 72 hours and my feet have been growing heavier and heavier the hours pass by. . . . .

My mind is running low, haven’t eaten enough for almost 24 hours, I’m in the state of forced fasting only taking limited amount of water that have remain to me. . . . .

My strength is fading; I cannot stand for long anymore. . . . .

My soul is in the state of restlessness. It is seems my life have been diminishing to the lowest, deepest, darkest moment of my life. . . . .

I do not blame anybody for I do not have the right to blame anybody including myself. . . . .

I have been subjected to the most painful and hardest involuntary pruning I have for the rest of my life. . . . .

I am now in definitely in scratch, seemingly nothing to keep, nothing to store, nothing to dwell. . . . .

It seems my God have really made me empty, broken, shattered, humbled more than enough, pressed down to the greatest limits, almost crushed to the core. . . . .

I wish I have something to hold to and it is almost none. Now I only have faith that I can still survive and endure this greatest challenge I have right now. I only have the strength that Christ had set to me to finish this race strong. . . . .

I only have a small ember of hope remaining of me, losing almost all of my dreams that have set before me. But that little ember keeps me standing. . . . .

My heart was in the most dried and empty state that I haven’t experienced all the rest of my life until now. . . . .

My spirit is now living to the glory of God. . . My whole life is turning towards the unending grace and incomprehensible Divine Mercy of the Creator. . . I have no more route to walk but the path towards the only thing that would keep me right now. . . The everlasting clemency of the Divine one towards the future that He really wants for me. . . . .

I’m keeping myself sane, because I cannot afford any loss on my part right now, as if I lose my life if there would be anything removed from me. But if that is the will of God to me I will definitely obey even everything is removed. Because I have the confidence that the LORD is doing this for me to become better, to become greater, to become humbler, to become more faithful to Him, to become more hopeful to Him, to become more loving to Him and to others as well. . . . .

My strength is already returning after some time of rest in a place that is open for me to repose. . . My light that had never failed me still continues to shine for me. . . The track toward greatness had already started to move me more than anything more. . . What is with me right now and what I have right now is the only weapon and armor I will have to march forward the battlefield towards the victory of Christ. . . For the greater glory and love of my God and King. . . . .

Loving Father, in the darkest moment of my life right now, I have felt Your presence. I have nothing more than only You and You alone completes my life right now. . . I’m in the most treacherous situation of my Desert experience. You alone are the strength I only have. You alone are the hope of my life right now. You alone are the glory, honor, and praise of my being. You are the remaining Light in this darkness I’m feeling. . . Keep my eye towards you and to you alone, I have experienced so much pain from the pruning You have in my life. I feel empty but only You can fill everything up. . . Keep me the faith I have endured for the rest of my life. I’m no more focusing to anything but to the price you have in store of me. Loving Father, keep me away from the side of darkness I’m experiencing. May this humbling offering I have satisfies You. I’m surrendering everything to Your holy presence. . . May this be a witness to Your unending grace and love. . . Your mercy is already enshrouded upon me and would keep me focused to the praise of being and becoming something all for the greatest Glory, Honor, Blessing and Praise of you name. . . Father, I am always Yours, bring towards the greatness of the future You have in store for me. . . . . We humbly ask this in the most holy and loving presence of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ; In unity with the Holy Spirit, One God and with Mother Mary’s intercession with the angels and saints. . . . . AMEN!

 

+Doing the Greatest Things All for the Greater Glory and Love of God,

Marco Antoine von Yeshuah y Metanoia

The MetanoiaFiles: To Protect

July 12, 2011, Feast of Saint John Gaulbert, Abbot

 

To my Beloved One, whom I vowed to Love and Defend for the Rest of my Life. . . .

To Protect. . . . .

 

People believed that being “geek” entails too much stupidity and isolation. . . . .

But if they only knew. . . . .

I was crushed to the Core. . . . .

Because of the vow to protect. . . . .

 

Antoine was waiting in line for the daily inspection when the HeadMaster approaches him. Antoine was surprised when he was asked by the HeadMaster, “What is the purpose of you being here Antoine?” Surprisingly, Antoine replied in a very strong manner, “I do not know Master!!!” The HeadMaster followed his question after hearing the surprised student, “Well, if there would be someone you believe is the reason for being here spit it out! I don’t want any of my students become ignorant of being here.” “Sure I have one!” Antoine replied. “I have somebody to protect so I am here to hone my skills so that I can Defend her. . .” The HeadMaster challenged Antoine, “Who is she then?” “My beloved friend and relative that I have given a great promise that I would give my whole life just to protect her.” Antoine courageously answers. “How come can you protect someone without proper skills and knowledge?” the HeadMaster asked. “Well, that’s the reason why I am here. That’s the reason why I would like to become the best Crusader Knight Palladin so that I can fulfill my promise to her. . .” Antoine wholeheartedly replied. “As long as I am living I will protect her. . .”

 

May be that would be the reason why I was very stupid in loving such people. . . . .

Giving everything for the sake of nothing. . . . .

And so freedom has been set, the greatest commandment has been given by our Lord Jesus Christ:

 

Jesus told Him, “You shall love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the greatest and the first commandment. The second is like it: You shall love your neighbour as yourself. The whole law and the prophets depend on these two commandments.”

Matthew 22:37-40

 

That would be the only thing that A STUPID SERVANT would say when he was asked by someone. . . . .

But that words are very powerful that it can kill someone. . . . .

Just like what have the one who told that in the Cross of Calvary. . . . .

 

Now, I would be the one to ask you. . . . .

Who is that someone you want to protect?????

Are you ready to give your life for the one you protect?

 

+Ad Majorem Dei Caritatis et Gloriam

Metanoia Antoine

The MetanoiaFiles: Introduction

Friday, March 25, 2011

 

Solemnity of the Annunciation

 

 

It has been for long since I wrote an article. Talking about journalism I guess I have lost everything I have with regards to my writing life but actually being forced by the circumstances. Now I thank Loving God for giving me back the grace and life to share the blessings of wisdom, knowledge and understanding. Hence, in this writings of mine I will open the floodgates of heaven to the blessings of the world.

I have talked to many people and I see the need for guidance. This country needs our help! This country needs us to build a great revolution that will change the face of the earth. And I need people to help me in this impossible task. I believe in that through the guidance of the Almighty and Loving God we can do it!

By the way, this is The MetanoiaFiles, a weekly blog that would help you to be inspired by the writings of the Kingdom of God through his instrument yours truly. I have decided to go to the limits by sharing things that might help the people in their daily lives and to move them into a great social revolution that will happen to our country these following years. I will talk about many things that might shatter the faith of an individual so keep praying. I will use basic figurative language if not the simplest human language to instill faith, hope and love to people. It will be divided into different sections that would be opened unto you twice a week in different topic concerning human life. This is the sections as follows:

• The Radical Revolutionary this is the most common social article that would deal with political, sociological, philosophical, cultural, and current events that is affecting the country today. The writer will intend to write in his personal opinion regarding matters of governance, philosophy, culture and society in this section.
• The Entrepreneurial Economist deals with the economic and business aspect of the country. The writer will intend to write facts and opinions that may affect the society in general and discuss ways to promote the economic development of the country.
• The Pastoral Health Care Missionary this deals with the writer’s specialty in health care and its impact in the overall impact of holistic human development in the society. The writer will present mostly facts regarding the health care delivery system in general and its subsidiaries that might affect the country’s programs and policies regarding health. Moreover, the writer will present here researches that he will do to provide total human development of the society.
• The Valkyries’ Crusade Grand Master pertains to the community that the writer intends to build within the curtain of the church and of the society. This will show the common things that will affect the community itself including rules and way of life of the people that will be affected by the writer.
• The Defender of Christian Faith will deal with Spirituality, Religion, Theology, Theophilly, and its associates. Being a servant of God for almost 10 years, the writer will show facts, and opinion pertaining to faith and the Deity in which he believes is the God of Christianity, the Holy Trinity in which the Divine Master is Jesus Christ. In this section the writer will discuss essential matters of living your life to the fullest in communion with the supernatural in which the world moves.

Hope in this series of work in which the writer will write would help you in your life and I’m praying that you would continue serving and enjoying your life to the fullest. May God Bless You and Your Loved Ones Always!

 

+All for the Greater Glory and Love of God

Marco Antoine von Yeshuah y Metanoia